Being a technology evangelist, I frequently recommend software or hardware devices to friends, relatives and complete strangers walking down the street. I feel it’s my duty to inform the world about everything they’re missing out on in life. The other day when I saw a stranger talking on their Blackberry, I did as any Apple fanboy would do: I quickly brandished my iPhone 7 like a crucifix and rushed toward the man screaming “Look at this you heathen! Look at it and all of its greatness! I smite you and your evil non-iPhone phone. Be gone with you, back to the fiery depths of hell!”
A thought crossed my mind later at the police station. Maybe my method of spreading the word was a tad bit extreme. I then realized I had, somewhere along the way, become a technology fanboy. This realization forced me to take a long hard look in the mirror and face the facts. I had begun to favor certain products over others simply because of its brand. I am ashamed of this because all technology and innovation should be considered good. So, loyal PCTechBytes readers, reflect on the following statements to see if you have also unknowingly slipped into the category of fanboy.
You Are A Fanboy If…
- You instantly respond how much you hate a product even though you’ve never tried it.
- You have a hat or any other piece of clothing with a technology logo on it.
- You have a bobble-head of your favorite video game character on your desk.
- You buy a new smartphone every year even though it breaks your two-year service agreement.
- You prefer Star Trek TOS over TNG, which is just stupid–Captain Picard was smarter, a superior leader and had better hair than Kirk.
- You own more than two Nintendo DS handhelds.
- You get into fights in the comment section of a blog when you disagree with someone.
- You install the beta version of a new Operating System on your main production computer.
- You consider the Nintendo Switch to be an actual gaming console.
- You stand in line to buy anything.
So You’re A Fanboy. Now What?
If you’re huddled in the corner right now in tears, don’t be ashamed. I was there, too. Now that we have discovered you have a problem, we need to decide what we’re going to do to fix it. I suppose to start, you should be more tolerant of those around you that use inferior hardware or software. There’s no need to get physical. Close your eyes and count to ten, and then repeat: “It’s not their fault. They’re blind or just retarded. God will punish them. It’s not my place.”
Try it, you’ll feel better.
So if you’re a confessed fanboy, let us know. Or if you have other fanboy symptoms I’ve overlooked, leave a comment on our forums.