In the “Geek Universe”, time moves differently than it does with the rest of the world. It is a complicated quantum physics phenomenon we won’t get into right now. So when it comes to organizing our time, we find ourselves sitting in front of computer monitors Twittering or watching YouTube. This is because of that complicated quantum physics issue. Because we are geeks, we can do our jobs quickly, thus leaving vast amounts of time between support calls or the next job. These tips for being more productive should save fellow nerds and educate employers by letting them know we aren’t bored or lazy, rather highly-efficient nerd machines capable of multi-tasking much like Commander Data on Star Trek TNG.

Never Work On Weekends

The number one rule is to never work on weekends. This does not necessarily mean Saturday and Sunday, but refers to your days off during the week. Being hyper-efficient means you need all the work you can get during the workweek. During your days off, slop on some sunscreen, maybe a hat and sunglasses and venture outside. Yes, I said outside. Since we both already know you will not be exercising during the week, take a walk, maybe ride a bike if you remember how. There is nothing more dangerous than a fit and tanned geek.

Get A Smart Phone

If you are in the tech industry and do not already have an iPhone, Droid or other smart phone capable of running email and other applications, then you are officially kicked out of the club. Shame on you. Shame on you. You need the ability to work on the move, and this means syncing your contacts, having a GPS and a program like Evernote to take notes and stay organized. Gmail and Google Calendar are essential. Having Outlook installed on your home computer is not helping you when you’re on the car. Sure, there are still ways to get those emails, but you will lose precious minutes you could be using to play Xbox or playing Dungeons and Dragons.

Your USB Thumbdrive is Your Friend

How many times have you downloaded Windows XP SP3 or Malwarebytes, only to sit at the computer any watch it download over and over again?  The Indians believe you lose a piece of your soul each time your picture is taken. A geek loses skin tone, muscle mass and other important physical attributes that help us find mates and reproduce. At this rate, geeks will slowly die off and become extinct.  Who will reboot the servers then, I ask?

So make sure you put the essential updates, utilities and other applications on a thumb drive and have it ready when you get to the job site. In fact, gather as much information about the job over the phone prior to leaving your house. This way, you can anticipate the drivers and other software you’ll need before getting to the job.

Remote PC Access is a Double-Edge Sword

While it is simply fabulous to connect to another computer remotely and fix it using programs like LogMeIn and Citrix’s GoToMyPC, you will find yourself supporting a lot more people–including friends and family. Once the word gets out that you can fix Uncle Joe’s computer even though you’re three hundred miles away, you might as well forget about having any free time. But it can bring you a lot more business, and if kept secret from everyone–including your spouse–you can make more money and still have a lot of time to do the things you like–such as leveling up in Modern Warfare 2.

Remember, the main goal of these tips for being more productive  is not to do less work, rather to accomplish all of your work during a four hour workday. Becoming a hyper-efficient geek machine means you extract the wasted time of a typical eight hour workday and accomplish your quota within a few hours. The remainder of your day should be spent tanning and stalking people on Facebook–if that’s what you’re into, of course.